The Cat That Didn't Float

Chapter l : And in the Beginning

"Permission to come aboard?????"

I heard this request as I was wrestling an ice cube tray out of the fridge in the galley of 'Vixen' my cutter rigged Alberg 34. My name is Charon. My Eastern European parents named me after the most enigmatic boatman in history. I was about to commence "Happy Hour" as prelude to watching the sun set in the west from the cockpit while I contemplated the day's activities at the 'Powder Magazine Yacht Club'.

PMYC is located just west of Pekkers Point on the east bank of the Millstone Creek estuary that empties into the northwest end of Alderschott Bay. Alderschott Bay lies at the extreme western apex of Lake Ontario.

"Granted. What's your poison?"

"Whatever you're drinking will be fine. I've never met a libation I didn't like!"

"Great! A man after my own heart. Grab a seat in the cockpit. I'll be right there in a minute. I don't believe in cushions so you'll have to put up with solid cockpit locker seats."

"No problem."

"Here! Grab your glass. Here's to the girl who lives on the hill. If she won't her sister will. Here's to her sister!"

"It's delicious. What am I drinking?"

"That sir, is a martini, prepared to the formula provided me by Bob Terrall, the gentleman from whom I purchased this vessel ten years ago. Using a potato peeler you obtain a healthy piece of lemon peel. You then rub the peel around the rim of a heavy glass "Old Fashioned Tumbler" and rub the inside of the glass as well. Toss the peel into the bottom of the glass; then fill the glass with ice cubes. You then fill the spaces between the ice cubes as well as top up the glass with Plymouth Gin poured in the presence of an open bottle of Noilley Pratt French Vermouth. When Bob passed on he left me his bottle of Noilley Pratt. It's got to be at least fifty years old. It's so old the closure is a real cork, not a metal screw cap. Lasts a long time when you use it in this recipe. So now that we're settled what brings you to visit me on 'Vixen'?"

My visitor took another pull on his drink; smacked his lips and answered.

"The name is John. John Wobblypop. I just joined PMYC and am presently renting space at the back of the marine yard while I build my boat. The dock master, Roger Dodger told me that you are a most knowledgeable and experienced sea dog. Since boating is new to me he suggested that I should use you as a resource person as I work out the construction of the boat I plan to build."

"How much boating have you done?"

"None, to speak of. However, I plan on getting a lot of experience once I have the boat I want to sail."

"You realize the accepted chronology is to get some experience sailing vessels that were built by people who knew what they were doing before setting out to design and build the boat of your dreams."

My companion explained that he had an unorthodox approach to everything all his life. Since he has made it to retirement he intends to live his retirement as he lived his life.

"This vessel of yours; what form do you see it taking?"

"It's going to be a catamaran. Ferro cement construction and lateen sail rigged."

"Why ferro cement?"

"Well I have no woodworking skills so I have ruled out building a wooden boat. I can't weld so that rules out steel and aluminum. I haven't a clue how to work with fiberglass but during my lifetime I built a concrete patio and driveway. That's why I decided with my experience I should build a ferro cement boat. Besides when you consider it, a ferro cement boat is similar to a concrete swimming pool with the water on the wrong side."

I told Mr Wobblypop that I could not fault his reasoning. Although I still had misgivings I asked about details regarding his catamaran design. He replied that he met this sailor on the West Marine chat room who built his own ferro cement sloop using cement that was feloniously diverted during construction of I-75 in Florida. This sloop aptly named "Right Guard" has been sailing in the Sarisota area for over ten years. Bubba Whartz, the skipper of this vessel emailed John Wobblypop a set of plans for a ferro cement catamaran. This has become John's magnificent obsession.

Although I have never met this Bubba Whartz, I have encountered a sailor by the name of Morgan Stinemetz. He lives in the Bradenton Beach area of Florida and shared with me some firsthand experiences he has had on 'Right Guard'.

I found John to be a companionable drinking partner, but I really did not want to become the one to hold his hand as he stumbled through what might become the most bizarre boat building exercise ever. So to this end I said, "You know John; my experience with ferro cement construction is very limited. I will be pleased to help you where I can; however the best thing I can do for you is to introduce you to someone who has a lot of ferro cement experience. As well he is a champion of ferro cement boat construction. Mike Mover is a PMYC member and skippers a fifty-six foot ferro cement yawl called 'Miss Conception'."

I promised John to set up a BBQ dinner at the PMYC gazebo. This is a popular PMYC member venue for DIY dinners and parties. Although PMYC possesses an excellent bar complete with snacks and finger food, no dining room facilities so far are available. This I felt was the best way to attract Mike Mover to sit still long enough for me to introduce him to John Wobblypop.

..................to be continued

Please Note:
Bubba Whartz is a character created by Morgan Stinemetz who writes a syndicated sailing column published by the Sarisota Harold-Tribune. Last year I presented a copy of "Bubba Whartz Stories" to the MBYC Library. If you wish to order your own copy or present a copy as a gift please contact Morgan Stinemetz at 941-722-9022.